What have you done to me, Liverpool?


Today has been a rather strange day…I woke up feeling incredibly flat. You know the feeling, when you feel a bit depressed or sad about something but not depressed or sad enough to actually be depressed or sad…still with me?

I’ve sort of been moping around all day, not really talking, not really doing anything, just feeling a little bit down. Why? Football.

It’s frustrating because I’ve always liked football, but not really enough to actually care whether Liverpool win or lose. Well, this season that all changed. I’ve been watching games, watching Match of the Day religiously, and reading news about football (shocking I know!) This season could have been Liverpool’s chance to win the Premier League, but no: their inability to defend came back to bite them rather nastily on the bottom (I’m keeping it clean, okay!)…3-0 at 80 minutes, 3-0!!! To lose a lead like that is almost bloody impossible. Funnily enough, Liverpool decide to prove every wrong letting in 3 goals in the last 10 minutes to Crystal Palace, who, lest we forget, had only scored 15 goals at home all season! At the end of the game, I was just sat there like “WTF!? Did that actually just happen?”

My heart sank. And sank. And sank. And sank right into the depths of the dark abyss of the Atlantic Ocean. I thought I could sleep it off…I thought sleeping could rid me of the sick feeling in my stomach that my beloved Liverpool had missed out on the Premier League title. I was wrong.

It is now 16:20 and my face is refusing to smile. I am attempting to use The IT Crowd to cheer me up, but that is having a limited effect. Unfortunately, it seems as though I must concede Tuesday 6th May 2014 to the glumness inside of me and hope tomorrow shall be a more productive, more bright day.

I’m sorry if you have had the misfortune to read this post and it has ruined your day. I can only apologise profusely if this post has had that effect. However, if any of you are suffering the same symptoms as I am, please feel free to comment and we can get through this pain together.

P.S. This post was meant to be a rant…I’m not sure what it is now, perhaps some sort of rant/heart-pouring post.

P.P.S. I realise to many what have I just written may sound really sad (Not as in crying but as in pathetic). If that is you, ummmm…deal with it (only joking, I’m not that mean but I am as sad and pathetic as you probably think I am!!)


M.I.A. No More!


Wow … 2 months since my last blog post! I realise I did a similar kind of post a while back but I really wasn’t expecting to be Missing In Action for sooo long … Honestly, I am utterly shocked that it has been 2 months …. seriously, what have I been doing?!

Actually, what have I been doing? Well, uni work. More uni work. A little bit more uni work. And then a whole shit-storm of uni work. And then it ended, with my brain splattered all over my bedroom wall – it turned out to be a nice change of colour from sickly yellow – and my essay nightmarishly embedded in my mind … Of course, I’m lying. My brain is still intact, though severely battered and bruised, however my essay did awaken me a few times in the night with my body dripping in cold sweat (seriously, no joke).

I would be lying if I told you that uni work was taking up all of my time. Recently, I’ve gone a bit nutty for the football. Being a long time Liverpool fan, it is both exciting and nerve-racking to be at the summit of the Premier League (I’ve been sooo excited recently that at times, I cannot think about anything else, which is unsurprisingly bad for my current schedule of EAT, SLEEP, REVISION, REPEAT). Before anyone comments, if they comment of course, I have also laughed at the Steven Gerrard slipping memes: they’re funny. Obviously, at the time it was heart-breaking, but some of them are just so god-damn hilarious!

Oh, and I’ve finally got round to watching Sherlock, which is awesome and I would recommend to anyone and everyone, and Dexter, which is also awesome and I would also recommend to anyone and everyone.

So yeah, I’ve been busy … sort of. Sometimes in life, things have to be sacrificed and unfortunately, for the last two months, the blog had to be sacrificed, but I’m back, raring to go, and ready to write some badass, crazy, f***ing post…Ok, maybe not that crazy or badass or fuelled by profanity, but there should be a steady stream of posts coming your way, you lucky, lucky people!

P.S. Anyone who has commented or anything of that ilk whilst I have been away, I shall strive to reply within the next few days.

The Review – The Wolf of Wall Street


The Plot

Jordan Belfort, a.k.a. The Wolf of Wall Street, rises from lowly beginnings to the high, corrupt echelons of Wall Street. Be prepared for drugs, sex, violence, and flying dwarves.

The Main Characters

Jordan Belfort

Addicted to drugs, addicted to sex, addicted to money. The man everyone hates, but everyone secretly wanted to be. Immature and undoubtedly vulnerable, Belfort is very much the subverted tragic hero of this tale.

Donnie Azoff

Working as a waiter, Donnie is picked up by Belfort and soon becomes his right hand man in the business. Definitely the funny character of the film, his argument with Mad Max is a particular highlight. But my God, those f***ing teeth, that’s all I’m going to say…you have been warned…

Naomi Belfort

Sexy and seductive, Naomi is a temptress of the highest order. Initially involved in an affair with Jordan, she marries him for his money and leaves him when Jordan hits rock bottom. She may be sexy, but she’s a cold-hearted bitch.

The Positives (***SPOILER ALERTS***)

DiCaprio as Belfort

Before I start, I will state that DiCaprio is my favourite actor therefore, I’m likely to be a tad bias. However, this was new ground for DiCaprio. He had to fuse comedy with serious acting…and he obviously succeeded. DiCaprio’s performance is so good in this film that he makes you both despise him throughout the film, and yet when Belfort loses everything, and I mean everything, he makes you feel sympathy for Belfort. There are few actors in the world that have the ability to make you feel sympathy for a character who is entirely unlikable. Let me state this: DiCaprio was not the reason why this film did not get the Oscar for best film, I repeat, DiCaprio was not the reason for this film’s failure to get the Oscar.

Hill as Donnie

I don’t usually go for characters who have big fake teeth clearly for the laughs. However, Hill’s character is so much more than this. As previously said, his argument with Mad Max over an inordinately expensive dinner had my sides splitting. That is one of many instances. The duo of DiCaprio and Hill was epicly funny and I really hope they do more film’s together in the near future.

Portrayal of the Ludicrous Extravagance of Wall Street

I’m not saying that Wall Street is definitely like this. That would be far too much of a generalisation. However, I imagine an element of Wall Street must be like this. Obviously I’m not an expert and obviously Scorsese exaggerates the corruption and lavish lifestyles of Belfort and his cohorts for dramatic effect. Nevertheless, the amount of money the top dogs at Wall Street must have means they must lead pretty lavish lifestyle, which, in my personal opinion, comes across very well in the Wolf of Wall Street.

The Negatives (***SPOILER ALERTS***)

Drugs, Alcohol and Sex

Don’t worry, I’m not jumping on the media bandwagon, criticising the film for the inclusion of pretty explicit drug and sex scenes. I am certainly not a prude and have watched many films with extreme amounts of drugs, alcohol and sex. All I want to ask Scorsese was did he really need to include as much of it as he did? Unfortunately, I realised how corrupt and unbelievably wealthy Belfort and his crew became after the first few scenes of ultimate corruption and money wasting, so for me, the film could have chopped off about half an hour and been all the better for it. Sorry Mr. Scorsese, I still love all your films…I promise…

The Best Part (***SPOILER ALERTS***)

For me, the argument between Donny and Mad Max, Belfort’s father. Not only was it unbelievably funny, it was one of the best ways of highlighting Belfort and co’s real vices; they are so wealthy and earning so much from being corrupt that they can spend $20,000-$30,000 on a meal and basically not give an utter shit.

The Worst Part (***SPOILER ALERTS***)

I’m not going to choose a worst part of the film, partly because there isn’t a specific part of the film I can pick out as something I particularly dislike, but also because my memory of the film is a little hazy, considering I watched the film over a month ago! There are elements of the film I dislike, but no individual moment.

Would I recommend it?

I’m not completely sure. Whilst DiCaprio was great, again, as was Jonah Hill, and pretty much the rest of the cast to be honest, I left feeling really disappointed. When you go to see a film directed by Martin Scorsese, you expect the film to be pretty god damn amazing. I suppose the expectation is all part of being an award-winning director. However, when it’s Martin Scorsese, you just expect that little bit more, with films such as Goodfellas, Shutter Island and The Departed. If you’ve never seen a Martin Scorsese film, then I would recommend it; it’s a great first Scorsese film to watch, but there’s definitely better Scorsese films to watch afterwards. If you have seen a Scorsese film, I suppose I would still recommend it, I mean it’s still a good film, but I wouldn’t be saying:

“You haven’t seen The Wolf of Wall Street yet? What are you doing with your life?”

because I wouldn’t want you to feel the disappointment that I felt. I’d be more like:

“You haven’t seen The Wolf of Wall Street yet? Well that’s ok, you should check it out sometime though, it’s pretty good.”

Just to quickly compare, if you haven’t seen The Dark Knight, I would definitely be saying:

“You haven’t seen The Dark Knight? (mouth wide open in disbelief) Have you been in a coma for the past 6 years? Have you actually been dead for the last 6 years? Seriously sort your life out!”

My Rating (out of 10)

7/10 (It would have been 7.5, maybe 8, if the film had been about half an hour shorter)

Damn you degree, damn you!


Well, it’s been a month since I did my last blog post, let alone anything else to do with my blog. Genuine shock I kid you not. Unsurprisingly, university work has taken over my life for the second time since Christmas, although a month since my last blog post is a bit crazy really. What is crazy though is how much work I’m having to put in to get pretty good marks in my degree. It is literally eating up my life, yes, my life. I have had no free time in the past 4 weeks, no time to do my blog, no time to write, no time for Twitter, no time to respond to comments, and for that I apologise.

However, I now have time to spare; more of it than I had anticipated in fact. So I thought I’d do a little post about what you can expect this blog to be and do from this time onwards.

This blog is a blog about writing and will remain a blog about writing, with short stories, chapters, and my views and opinions on writing. I will also continue to review films and books, trying to do one per week in my own and, I’d like to say, unique format.

I’m trying to get a schedule sorted out so that I can organise my blog post and blog more regularly. Not sure exactly what it’s going to be like, but it will include reviews, opinions, short stories and a little bit of fan fiction hopefully as well.

So yes, damn the bloody degree with its stupid amount of research, but that’s over (for now). My focus shall be more on the blog, which I shall be doing regularly, and with a small schedule in place, I should be able to continue blogging when the workload gets heavy again.

Sorry if this has been a bit of a boring read, I just thought I should let you know what’s been happening and what’s going on. Oh, also, I’ve been having a cheeky read of my new Sherlock Holmes book, which is the entire collection, so expect some reviews of those stories in the near future.

Happy blogging!

The Opinion – Katie Hopkins


The Big Benefits Row on Channel 5 this evening will, I’m sure, create masses of debate on the failures of the benefits system, the demonisation of the Working Class, and all other sorts of crazy, messed-up benefits stuff. Later this week, I will probably weigh in with my opinion on the benefits system, a system which I am very much in favour of. However, this post is not about that; this post is about Katie Hopkins, one of the panelists in the first half of the show, who has regularly featured on This Morning, weighing in with her opinions on children’s names to tattoos to the Celebrity Big Brother contestants, and now, to benefits and the Welfare State.

Firstly, let me make it clear that I am not attacking Katie Hopkins point of view. Whilst I disagree with the majority of what she said, in a society that endorses free speech, someone should not be attacked for stating their opinion. I thought it was wrong that she was shouted down, heckled and, in a few instances, verbally abused by members of the audience. Yes, it’s a debate. Yes, benefits is a controversial subject, however, whilst the Middle and Upper Classes hold the majority of political and influential positions, shouting aggressively at members of said classes will cause them to distance further themselves further from the Working Class than they already are. The stereotype of the vile, lazy, scrounging members of the Working Class on benefits that is clearly embedded in Katie Hopkins’ mind, along with a significant proportion of people in influential positions of power, will not have been helped by the aggressiveness of members of the audience in tonight’s show.

Wait a second, Jack. Are you saying Katie Hopkins’ is the victim of an aggressive audience? Almost certainly not. She baited them and baited them. Of course, she’s not a complete fool. She backed up many of her arguments with sound evidence, nevertheless, like all extreme viewpoints, backed by evidence specifically chosen to highlight her point, ignoring evidence that clearly countered her argument, and, at many points on tonight’s show, made her argument obsolete. Once her argument was made obsolete and she was backed into a corner, like a starving lion, she ferociously attacked members of the panel and audience, shouting them down like they had done to her and attacking the person or their situation rather than the argument itself.

Now we come to the crux of the issue, of the real problem with Katie Hopkins. Clearly, she has opinions, and whether or not you think they are wrong, she has the freedom of speech to speak those opinions aloud. However, the issue I really have with her is that she attacks people rather than their arguments. If you ever watched The Apprentice when she was in it (don’t worry if you can’t, it was a while ago), she did this time and time again and was one of the main reasons why she stayed on the show. If you watch her debates/arguments/catfights on This Morning, she constantly does it to her opponent. Staying true to form, she did it on The Big Benefits Row, getting unbelievably aggressive with people, becoming rather deluded and ultimately ruining her argument. Once you begin attacking people and not their viewpoint, it becomes infinitely more difficult for people to side with you, which is exactly what happened to Katie. She attacked people and the audience turned on her. And boy did they turn on her.

So Katie Hopkins. Opinionated. Unsympathetic. And a big proponent of the Ad Hominem argument (attacking the person rather than the argument). However, I blame Channel 5 for the debate descending into a chaotic row. I commend Matthew Wright, whom I personally did not like initially, for attempting to control the debate, which he did as well as anyone could have done. However, including arguably one of the most controversial women in the UK at this present moment in time onto the panel was bound to descend into chaos. Of course, I can look back with hindsight and think how stupid Channel 5 were for including her, however, she was disadvantaged from the very beginning. From the reaction of the crowd to almost every single one of her points, it was an audience either made up of those on benefits or strong advocates for benefits, of which I am one (but obviously not in the crowd). She was always going to be attacked, and, owing to Katie Hopkins’ personality, was bound to viciously attack back, causing the debate to turn into an almighty pressure cooker, even after she had left, which blew at every slightly controversial moment. Had the audience been a more even distribution of those for and against benefits, perhaps we would have had a more amicable debate, rather than the trade of insults it turned into.

Ultimately though, when you have as controversial opinions as Katie Hopkins’ has, you’re bound to incite some form of animosity against you. It’s just a shame she prefers attacking people rather than their arguments, otherwise The Big Benefits Row would have been much more pleasant to watch and may have actually gone some way to providing a true insight into the life of people on benefits, and perhaps changed the opinions of those who are staunchly against the benefits system.

Nominated for a Liebster Award


Courtesy of shopmyclosetproject.com

Well, I haven’t been blogging too much recently but I returned to see a lovely message from richardjford over at The Dull, Unadventurous Life of Mine. nominating me for a Liebster Award. If you’re a Lord of the Rings fan, I would definitely check out his blog. It contains some really fascinating insights into Middle Earth and might provide you with a few facts you didn’t know. I’ve certainly learnt something since I’ve been reading his blog!

From what I gather, this illusive Liebster Award is a great helping hand to new/unknown bloggers, helping them connect with other new/unknown bloggers and giving them a little bit of promotion (crafty, I know).

The Rules

1. Each nominee must link back the person who nominated them.

2. Answer the ten questions which are given to you by the nominator.

3. Nominate 10 other bloggers for this award who have less than 200 followers (only five I’m afraid!)

4. Create 10 questions for your nominees to answer.

5. Let the nominees know they have been nominated by going to their blog and notifying them.

Right onto the questions from richardjford…

1. What is your favourite film/movie?

Haha I didn’t have to think too much about this one, although I’m not sure it counts! It has to be the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, but only the Extended Editions. That’s the only way you can watch The Lord of the Rings. Preferably as a marathon….No, definitely as a marathon…..I really have too much spare time, way too much spare time…

2. What influenced you to start blogging?

Quite a few things really. Sort of around the middle of last year, I discovered that I really wanted to do writing….well I say discovered, I already knew obviously, I’d just been thinking about it a lot….anyway, I started looking around the web and realised I wasn’t the only aspiring writer (don’t like using the term, but I don’t know what else to use), and I thought blogging would be the best way to connect with those type of people. Oh, and I started reading Chuck Wendig’s blog, which is amazing, funny and full of great advice!

3. What is your aim in life? (thought I’d give you a very broad question)

Short-term, I want to get a First in my degree and then become a teacher. Tough job but the holidays will be amazing, hopefully… Long-term, I definitely want to publish a book or become a professional writer. Or a Formula 1 Driver, but I’m probably too fat and big for that. And I like food way toooooo much….

4. Who is your favourite actor/actress?

I suppose some would call it a man-crush (my girlfriend definitely does) but Leonardo DiCaprio is by far my favourite actor. He’s in the majority of my favourite movies (Inception, The Departed, Shutter Island to name but a few….) and I’ve recently seen him in the Wolf of Wall Street, and I have to say, he did not disappoint, although the film did a tad….

5. Where do you want to live and why?

Either Australia or the South of France. Australia because it’s an amazing place, with beautiful beaches, beautiful weather and it seems to be miles away from snow, rain, all sorts of horrible weather (I know I’m probably wrong but don’t spoil the dream). The South of France. Same sorts of reasons as Australia but its a lot closer to Britain. I hate British weather but I just love Britain too much to go too far away!

6. Can’t believe I’m doing this… My friend wants to know: Who is your favourite teletubby?

Ummm, this is kind of embarrassing but I actually had Tinky Winky as a toy when I was younger, so probably him, or it, I’m not sure which to use! From my very vague memory of it, Dipsy was a bit of a stubborn arsehole, LaaLaa was tad bit of a slut, and Po was quite annoying, so Tinky Winky seems like the only logical choice….

7. If you could time travel, what time/date would you travel to and why?

Soooo…many…choices…brain…is….exploding…..don’t worry it didn’t explode….but I’ve made my choice. I’d probably go back to the Medieval Age, but only if I could be a knight, because knights are fucking cool and they get swords and shit. Or I’d go back to the Ancient Roman times, but only if I could be Julius Caesar, because he’s insane and gets to lead armies. Preferably before he got stabbed….being stabbed really doesn’t sit well with me…or anyone really…

8. What is one feature you like about yourself?

Probably my ability to make people laugh, either with me or at me, I’m not really bothered! I’m not sure whether it comes through in my writing but I can usually make people laugh in real life without trying to hard….it always makes me cringe when people try too hard so I don’t…it either comes naturally or it doesn’t….luckily for me it comes fairly naturally. I hope this didn’t sound too vain or arrogant, it’s quite hard to say what you like about yourself without sounding just a tiny bit arrogant….

9. Favourite season and why?

I have a problem with all of the seasons. I don’t like Spring because it’s too wet, I don’t like Summer because it’s too hot, I don’t like Autumn because everything dies, and I don’t like Winter because it’s too cold….but if I had to choose one, it would probably be Spring, probably because everything starts warming up in Spring after the cold of Winter. You can actually go out without feeling like you are going to get frostbite!

10. Who has been the most influential person in your life?

Probably my girlfriend. I’ve been with her for almost three years now and I live with her, so she is a pretty huge impact on my life (in a good way, obviously). Although she doesn’t really have any of the same interests as me (literally none at all), she’s really good for all the big, important decisions, which I definitely could not make on my own! I’m currently far too immature for all of the shit life throws at you so it’s great having someone so level-headed fighting the shit with me.

Whew, that took a mammoth effort…who knew 10 questions could take so bloody long to answer! Anyone, now onto the bloggers I shall nominate. I’m afraid to say I was only able to choose five, not because I don’t like most of the blogs I read (that would be ridiculous obviously) but many of the blogs I follow have over 200 followers. So here’s my five:

Alex the Writer – Not only is this blogger a friend from university, he is also a great poet and author of short stories. Definitely worth checking out…

Dark Link/Light Link – I’m not sure how I discovered this blogger, but I’m glad I did. Her art and comic strips are really awesome and unique, so doubly awesome. My personal favourite: The Lord of the Wild West…

The Dull, Unadventurous Life of Mine – Yes I realise he nominated me, however, I couldn’t not nominate him, when I read his posts, enjoy his posts, and comment on them, could I? I’m a rebel people, I break all the rules (well only a few…okay, just one). For nomination reasons, see above…

Irisnightingale – For someone who doesn’t really read romantic/sex/erotica/relationship kind of writing (sorry if I’ve got that all wrong), I really like this blog, so an easy nomination really.

Sweating to Mordor – This is a completely unique idea for a blog, I haven’t seen anything like it. If you love the Lord of the Rings, seriously check this blog out, this guy is a fountain of sweet Middle Earth knowledge!

And finally, my 10 questions to my nominees:

1. What is your favourite film?

2. What is your favourite book?

3. What country would you most like to visit in the world?

4. What is your aim in life?

5. If you had a dinner party, what fictional characters would you invite, and why?

6. What is the most shocking thing you have ever witnessed?

7. If you had the chance to meet your favourite author/actor/actress/sports star/celebrity, who would it be, and why?

8. What is your favourite word? (A little nerdy, sorry)

9.  What is your favourite animal?

10. What is your aim for your blog? 

YES, VICTORY IS MINE LIEBSTER NOMINATION/AWARD THINGY…thanks again to richardjford over at The Dull, Unadventurous Life of Mine, even though this post have been one hell of a mission, I hope its worth it because I think my eyes have gone a little bit square…